Skip to main content

You must report. You must report. You must report.

EXTRA EXTRA: Newspaper reporters at the UK TIMES about to brainwashed into thinking print matters »

Almost as if the digital revolution never happened, the newsroom of The Times once again resounds to the clatter of the old-fashioned typewriter.

It is going to happen at Rupert Murdoch’s the UK TIMES.. so now when reporters are free in between their phone hacking (oh that was a while ago I guess..) they are going to be able to place themselves in the past: Back when typewriters worked magic and print was alive and well..

Reporters at the TIMES were surprised to see a tall speaker in the newsroom blasting out the sounds of typewriters.. the INDEPENDENT reports that it has been set up to increase that adrenaline rush for reporters to motivate themselves to the deadline.. get the ‘big breaking news’ first.. Apparently the sound begins with one typewriter.. and as the paper gets ready to go to print, the noise level has been increased to a flurry if not landslide of typewriters noises clacking away in the news room..

And if you think it won’t work, recall this piece of weird brainwashing history: The Woodpecker noise .. there are rumors and theories that the Soviet Union was blasting out a constant stream of woodpecker noises over radio stations to perform mind control on whoever heard it.. The signal was a sharp set of pulses that sounded like a woodpecker.. the facility that emitted the sound was near Chernobyl. NEWSWEEK did a report just in April of this year about the hunt for the elusive Russian Woodpecker.. The ‘woodpecker experiment’ is regarded as a global mind control test, as a matter of fact..

So back to Murdoch: I think the typewriter may sound like a big monster by the end of a news day.. the noise will be circling around in the brains of reporters.. they will be under the control of Murdoch’s empire.. they will blast out news wires and meet deadlines. They will be happy. And they will hear typewriters typing when they try to sleep at night.

Get ready. Mind control..




New Year's Eve.. Rockin' without Dick Clark in '13

Welcome to the final minutes of the year 2012. Yes. Already. It was so looked forward to, and it is ending so quickly...

It's minus Dick Clark this year, though. And that is notable. Fergie is showering ABC viewers tonight in the pre-game with Dick Clark related footage. Donna Summers is playing while the Doors are swaying. Yes, it's a stroll down amnesia lane in the fast lane. Dick Clarkless 2013. No countdown with the master of Times Square this year.

The show goes on, of course. With Ryan Seacrest to help. Before Seacrest will be 'out' there will be a number of events that occur. A massive ball will drop in Times Square. Revelers will kiss their hearts out.. then race for port-a-potties and their hotel rooms. Maybe stop by a pub and have a cup of cheer..

All around the world, the events are taking place. Some places on Earth are already 2013. The Pope will have a homily about how peace could be achieved. Fireworks will fly high into the night sky.. People will embrace …