We have written about how exciting the summer box office of 2026 is for horror! But back in 2001 in the stone ages of the internet, we were not that excited .. From the annals and the deeply old records, we opened the vault to see what we were saying in May 2001 about ‘cutting edge’ horror that was mostly just dull and boring…
…for your review.. were were less than enthralled then at what Hollywood was giving us..
Sit back in the chair, sip a warm Pepsi … and watch a Late Night jam session between Conan O’Brien and Martha Stewart. I am. But off in the distance flashes halloweenmovies.com’s latest Halloween 8 update. Rick Rosenthal saves the day! H20, the fabled 20th anniversary film, wasn’t too final. We needed another sequel, this being a sequel of the H20 film, which was a sequel of 1 and 2, not including 4 and 5 and especially not harboring love for 3…Season of the witch.
The May 9th flash reads:
….May 10, 2001 Star of MTV’s THE REAL WORLD SEATTLE and URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT, Jacinda Barrett, has been cast in HALLOWEEN 8…
Shocking, especially since their May 10 report was filed May 9. I check my computer date. No, it’s May 9. Thought so.
Wonderful. The director adds another MTV generation star to the roster. Make some room, Busta Rhymes. Save a chair, Bianca Kajlich, and save the last dance, Sean Patrick Thomas. And if it’s not too much to ask, keep your hands in the aisle, Tyra Banks. You might be next. And you might all be in nine, unless Mike hacks you up this go around.
Speaking of which, will Carson Daly play Michael Myers? Why not reprise the role of Dr. Loomis with the ever trustworthy Kurt Loder. MTV news. All Snoop, all the time…
Clamoring Halloween fans asked to make sure Jamie Lee Curtis’ character was treated with at least some respect, maybe more than she got in H20. Sip some Bianco, Ms. Tate. What might come from the latest motions from the office of the director as told to Halloweenmovies.com as told to the American and world public as reported 4th handedly on this website is the ultimate finale of a Jamie Lee Curtis death scene. Laurie Strode, from tight pants to fatal H8 conclusion.
Rick Rosenthal, evidently signaling and end of the “Strode girl’s” work told the big honchos at halloweenmovies.com about a “strong” role for Curtis during the first half hour of the film. Read between the lines…see the blood. She will die…my sources tell me. Rumors at this point, but then again, so is Freddy Vs. Jason–for 6 years now.
Not only the absence of sense from H8 appears to be in the works, but also the missing link of Dr. Samuel Loomis’ presence. Made difficult by the death of Mr. Donald Pleasance himself…don’t worry, they gave tribute to him in the wretchedly edited H6, although they spelled his name wrong in the credits and killed his character off without remorse.
Oh, the state of modern horror. We had been Forsaken long enough, then Along Came a Spider, and Mummified again, driving out Driven, riding with Croc Dundie..again…This time in LA. An original concept. You’re not in Australia anymore, Crocodile…then again, were the Survivors? Did we put a man on the moon?
Coming soon Spiderman will save us from reality TV, maybe even be more realistic than Rob Burnett’s Survivor which subsisted from a rating bonanza and a bout of hunger in the outback….Was that Colby? Tina? Or their doubles, Mr. Mooves?
The Rock left the World Wrestling Federation, Stone Cold turned heel, and Vince McMahon lost his status as engineer of a genius operation with his X(extreme)F(football)L(league). But the Rock appeared in a film for ten minutes and became an ‘actor.’
And without the drug busts of late and the possible strike that never happened, Hollywood would have been quite boring. Nicole Kidman would have been stunned to find her short handed ex husband to be gay, though he denied and sued, but the stalker was most surely fond of the rumor.
True horror has become more fascinating and sensational than even that which graces big and small screens alike. Tim McVeigh will soon die, Europeans cannot eat meat, NBC is the strongest link with their Weakest Link, and Kentucky Thoroughbreds are dying unexpectedly. Gas costs and arm and leg, plus $1.65 a gallon for regular as a whole…California is darker than even Hollywood thriller sets.
Did I mention Elvira was coming back to screen? No?
Guess it can’t get scarier than this.
Horror Report
Filed Thursday May 10, 2001 1:14 AM EST
