Tag: movies

SONY HACK ATTACK ACK ACK ACK

You ought to know by now..

It seems so many times that once a major company or facility says there was a cyber attack that took place, a dribble of information comes wincing out of the PR department.. There is little news initially, except for the instance of the hack itself. It is downplayed.. in a sense, a full accounting is being conducted.

We learned of the SONY hack attack over a week ago. At that time, North Korea was suspected to be angry over the upcoming comedy THE INTERVIEW–so much so that allegations were made that the country hired on hackers to decimate SONY. If that is what actually took place, the attack went far beyond what was initially known..

The HOLLYWOOD REPORTER tonight is now making the full details public.. Not only did the hack occur, but major celebrities and insiders have had their social security numbers splashed across the world’s widest web: The Internet.. 47,000 to be exact–at least according to this report. As we saw from the original trickle, perhaps more will eventually be known..

But tonight, the HOLLYWOOD REPORTER is naming names: Sly Stallone’s SS number is now known.. As is Judd Apatow, and Rebel Wilson’s.. Along with SS numbers: Personal addresses, salaries, and other private information kept on computer file at SONY going back to at least the year 2000…

The HOLLYWOOD REPORTER further mentions North Korea as the suspect nation in massive attack..

Other news agencies are beginning to take the lead from the HOLLYWOOD REPORTER and talking about just how massive this data breach is–historic in every sense.. The SONY attack is exposing stars and their personal information, they are naked the protections of body guards and data filters ..

SONY had mass amounts of data stored in a place where lots of it could be stolen in one lump sum..

We also know that the GUARDIANS OF PEACE, or the GOP, did this.. Whether North Korea was behind the GOP attack or not is still a million dollar question. BLOOMBERG wrote about this very issue hours ago.. They questioned whether North Korea was the villain in the hack attack, namely because one would assume THE INTERVIEW would have been a subject of the attack itself. In this instance it was not.

But North Korea has also not denied the incident being their fault–but why would they? After all, even if they didn’t do it, their would get some kind of potential street cred on the global fear stage if people at least thought they did..

There seems to be something missing in this North Korea theory.. something big. Like common sense..
I don’t think it translates well..

And if North Korea did such a thing, attacking an institution like Hollywood here in the United States, would that not be some form of an act of 21st century war?

That’s the other unanswered million dollars question…

THE INTERVIEW premieres Christmas..

December 4, 2014
STAR WARS: THE MEMES AWAKEN

The internet is good for a few things: Cat GIFs and memes top the list as of late.. people from around the planet were quick to create a comedic goldmine of Kim Kardashian rear end jokes.. Now comes along the newest villain from the next in the STAR WARS franchise, and already creative minds have been inspired to think outside the box..

The first trailer for STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS debuted this Thanksgiving weekend.. after much anticipation, the biggest thing that people have seemingly latched onto is the newest light saber style for the Empire.. The Dark Side is back with the red color, but the flames seem to make a letter T.. some compared it to a bizarre style of the cross, perhaps a the perversion of the trinity? A deeper message in the hooded figure walking in the forest?

As for me? I like it.. It surprised me a bit when I saw it, maybe that was the intention..
For those of you who aren’t a STAR WARS fan and don’t have one in your inner circle of family and friends, you need to understand that these changes, while slight and meaningless to some, set the fanboy-girl world on fire with debate and theatrics. Thanks to the internet, people immediately rant on Facebook, cuss on Twitter, and rumble on Tumblr..

Along with this new STAR WARS light saber style, though, comes some pretty inventive memes floating around the net..

The always reliable MASHABLE has a bit of an accounting of some of the best ..Including these:

And this, perhaps my favorite:

You wanted a light saber chainsaw…

The creative stylings of fans online never ceases to amaze me..

Inventive minds are always at work. Memes are the most refreshing of examples of how people can still think outside the box.

x x x

There is a bit of sad news in relations to the STAR WARS franchise being reported today, though.. The story comes from the UK MIRROR.. the tabloid is profiling David Prowse.. he is the giant, literally speaking at 6 feet plus, who played DARTH VADER in the original Lucas films.. The unfortunate way life has played out for him, however, is not happy: He is suffering from dementia and, according to his own confession, not improving with medication. In the article, Prowse admits that since Darth Vader was killed from the movie, there’s really no way back.. I feel awful for him, though, to be one of the few who could not reprise a role in the newest film.

And that note, memes and Prowse aside, I wonder this: The ultimate test for the new STAR WARS film will be to achieve a new Darth Vader of our time.. will that occur? Could the dark side come with a new being in this film, one that will make DARTH VADER look like an amateur?

There has been some opinions that the greatest movie villain of all time has VADER in the top 5, if not 3..
STAR WARS is awakening with a new force.. But will they be able to provide this generation of selfies and tech addicts the villain they want, or better yet, the villain they need?
We will find out in December 2015.

Until then, I trust a number of more memes will be released with each trailer..

November 29, 2014
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS OUT: HIGH HOPES FOR HORROR FLICK ‘ANNABELLE’ AS MOVIE OPENS

$40 MIL?

OR $30..

There are high hopes for horror.. the winds of fear are bringing in October tonight as the movie ANNABELLE finally gets its long awaited premiere.. Those I have spoken to tonight say theaters are crowded and people are screaming. Some are laughing.. others are decrying how ‘bad’ the movie was. All of those opinions are being Facebooked and Tweeted, Tumbled and Instagrammed.

But messages are mixed.
ANNABELLE’s late night debut last night only brought in $2.1 mil–lower than the CONJURING’s $3.31 mil.. It’s also lower than the second installment of the PURGE film.. Good news for ANNABELLE, those other movies were released in the summer.

Time will tell.. By Sunday we will know if horror is alive and well at the box office or if this slump is permanent.

If I had to go out on a limb right now, I’d predict $36 mil based off of all of the information I have currently.

We shall see..

Good luck Annabelle.

October 3, 2014
The dawn of a new dead

A friend of mine posted photographs of herself with blood dripping from her mouth and her limbs hanging off.. it’s not every day you see such things. After an inquisitive message was sent asking where she was able to masquerade in broad daylight as a brain eating zombie, I found out she was an extra in a film called THE SOULLESS. Luckily, I followed a chain of people and was able to interview the director, Chris Eilenstine, of the film.. I am inspired by what he said.

Let me first step back a bit.. Zombie movies are out of control. They are everywhere.. and they are hungry for viewers. Most zombie flicks I have seen featured the same tired and lackluster acts. The dreadful soundtrack along with the blood curdling noises of the dead slurping up cartilage and brains. That gets tired, quickly..

There have been a few gems in heap of trash, but those are far and few between. One such movie that made me scratch my head by yet appreciate the desire to do something different was PONTYPOOL.

The SOULLESS sounds different. It is inventive, and it does not sound one bit like anything I have seen before.

Chris Eilenstine started making movies when he was 14. He has a long history of productions behind him. The movie THE SOULLESS is in post-production.

According to the information, Eilentine’s film is budged at $50,000—a low budget film by any definition. But when you consider the plot, you may want to give it a try.

Eilenstine gave the HORROR REPORT the backstory on the film. The movie is the story of David and Nicole Peterson, a father and daughter who have survived a genetic plague that has turned the majority of the human race into a primitive, animal like race. David and Nicole have a special immunity to these new humans.

Here is where things get different: The main characters are completely ignored by them and can walk amongst them without fear of being attacked.

Eilenstine said that he conceived of this idea while reading an article of the mapping of our DNA and that aging is not decay, but a form of mutation we go through in life. “I wanted to tell the story of a scientist who rewrites our DNA and sends us back to the beginning. He does this believing the human race will destroy itself unless he helps it. So he releases a virus and ‘reboots’ humanity.”

The majority of THE SOULLESS was shot in Monmouth County, New Jersey. That’s where my friend was able to don her best zombie attire to rampage the streets as an extra.

Eilenstine seems intent on recreating the zombie genre, toying with the concept almost like the scientist who rewrites DNA. Eilenstine said,

This film series is very different than other zombie films. It has gore, but never dwells on it. It is used in the way I believe gore should be used- to horrify, not just shock. But The SOULLESS is very much a human drama about David and Nicole and he will do anything to keep her alive and try to give her a chance at a normal life. It is also a very sci-fi driven storyline, with a horror framework. The ‘Zombies’ of the story are a surprise, and I do not want to spoil that for anyone. The series is so different in fact that we adopted a tag line for it that goes ‘Forget Everything You Know About the Living Dead…THE RULES HAVE CHANGED!’.”

Eilenstine joked, “There are no shambling, decomposing corpses digging themselves out the grave and eating brains in this series. The ‘zombies’ are all sympathetic characters, some are animals, yes- but still human, still deserving of existence.”

The rules have changed indeed. The idea of a sympathetic zombie is reminiscent of the mellow and mild mannered Frankenstein that appeared on film decades ago. Are we ready for zombies with (and without) a heart?

Eilenstine is no stranger to horror. It’s his favorite genre, along with science fiction. He said that George Romero and Alfred Hitchcock were his inspiration. And it was the movie ALIEN, along with DAWN OF THE DEAD, that moved him enough to make movies himself. He told the HORROR REPORT, “The visual style of Romero’s films influenced me greatly. Today I really look forward to learning more about the independent horror market and the people making them. There is a lot of interesting work being done in this genre today.”

But what scared Chris Eilenstine? Zombies? Slashers? Darkness at midnight hour? No.. not at all. What scares him is what scares me–and what should scare all of us. Eilenstine said, “People who feel that the lives of other people are worthless, and those who believe people who think differently than them deserve to die.”

“They are the true monsters,” he finished, “they scare the hell out of me.”

While low on budget, the SOULLESS appears to be in depth on horror on even more on the big pictures in life. One big picture is death. Eilenstine revealed, “The Soulless does explore these ideas, and in ways that will be fresh and thought provoking for those who view it. It is my sincere hope that when THE SOULLESS becomes a series it will be a show people passionately discuss and think about.”

The HORROR REPORT looks forward to thinking about it, and seeing the film. We will certainly pass along any other information as it becomes available.

THE SOULLESS is a trilogy Part One: Z-DAY is scheduled for December 2014 with Part 2: Sanctuary for the late spring and Part 3: Revelations in the late summer, 2015.

September 29, 2014
The real ABCs of DEATH: Be happy they aren’t at your door step

The world seems to be surrounded by the scourge of death and the blanket of blood. And some people absolutely love it that way, so as long as the gorefest is confined to the big or small screen. That’s why a flurry of excitement has taken place online after the ABCs OF DEATH 2 trailer was released to a blood hungry public. The opening ‘death’ scene is a man being beheaded by an ax. Interesting when compared to modern real news about people being beheaded across the planet.

I don’t begrudge people of their thirsty desire to watch torture porn or gory films. I was young once too and thought it was cool to see the kills that horror movies brought. As you age, they say, you mellow. But in this case I do not.. Instead, I recognize the world for what it is: Filled with anarchy and violence, murder and bloodshed. And while I love horror flicks, I dissolve myself of appreciation of all of them—as anyone who reads this site may know, I am often very critical of the genre when I feel movies make to point.. But blood and death are scary. The ABCs of DEATH, however, looks to be just bloody.

And lots of people like that sort of thing. They can.. they have the right.
But I think if they were living in the midst of real war and real blood, their craving to watch the absurdly violent will become obsolete and their desire to just survive will be immediate.

The ABCs of DEATH trailer is available online.. you can find, you can watch it. You can re-watch it.. and you can even masturbate to it as though you were in a scene from the first movie. That is your choice..

Horror movies are often meant to arouse some of the primal fears we all have. The ultimate fear is our own demise. That’s why horror movies, when they work, feature scenes of murder but then seems of redemption. Even heroics. The hero at the end, often a woman who has a unique ability to survive darkness, lives to tell her tale and often beats the strong male murderer.. That plays on our instincts. A strong woman (our mothers) …the fear of death… Some do it in a very effective manner. Others.. well, just don’t.

When I was a kid, I fondly recall the shorts from CREEPSHOW. They were campy and weird.. freaky for their time.. Fast forward two decades: And then… When I went to see HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES so many years ago, I was started by a group of teenagers behind me that shackled themselves together and then chained (with real chains mind you) to their movie theater seats.. A glance of them proved even more disturbing, as they looked like real life characters from the Rob Zombie film. It was a moment in cinema I will never forget, and set the stage for me and friends to view the 1000 CORPSES movie. I (sort of) fondly recall having a midnight breakfast afterwards at Perkins and sitting in silence for about 15 minutes before anyone had a clue as to how what to say..

But thinking back, I bet money that if these teens would have joined the armed services, saw their brethren die on a roadside bomb or see Iraqi children become disfigured by the use of depleted uranium, their celebration of the macabre would have gone through a metamorphosis..

All of this may seem rather ironic for a ‘horror reporter’ to write, but I sure wish someone would make the ABCs of life.. The real goodness that exists in the world. The miracles.. or the amazing stories of survival and love. Goodness doesn’t sell, I know. Trust me.

Instead, we are filled with depravity and exist on a sphere in space defined by violence. Something brutal and barbaric violence. It’s celebrated through contemporary film, as well.

So while you watch the ABCs of DEATH and the sequel to it, if you like that sort of horror, fill your room with laughter and joy. Be happy you’re seeing the horrid and in many cases brutally disturbing ways to die.

And hope like hell that your glass house is never shattered by the reality that perpetuates the planet..

We are a world mired in warfare, bloodshed, and violence. Sometimes the scenes from the nightly news or the headlines on the NET are scarier than the ABCs of DEATH..

You just happily choose to ignore them while you laugh at death on screen. In spite of yourself.

September 4, 2014
THE MARKET VALUE OF HORROR

How the Market Affects What Horror Makes it to Hollywood »

Recent torture pornographers such as Eli Roth arguably have aligned themselves with 1970s American horror auteurs not only to legitimize their work but to cash in on their rebel credibility.

The NEW REPUBLIC article is an interesting way to follow up on my previous essay written earlier this week about horror movies.. I actually made the point that horror movies, in general, are a lot less scary in our current reality—and even more, who wants to look at torture porn films and slasher gore galore when you can turn on the nightly news and see edited versions of beheading videos and then download the real deal yourself should you wish to..?

The NEW REPUBLIC article follows how the market—and current events—lead to the horror we see in cinema.. Author Yo Zushi writes,

It wasn’t long before horror directors such as Eli Roth were claiming that their work could trace a direct lineage to the “war on terror”. “I really try to load up the films with ideas,” Roth insisted, citing with pride the university seminars discussing his Hostel series as “a post-9/11 response to Iraq and torture”. The ecstatic violence of that franchise at first attracted the scorn of many reviewers, who dismissed it as “torture porn,” but Roth’s articulate justifications for his on-screen cruelties seem to have won over the academy.

This strategy of media management isn’t new—Night of the Living Dead’s George Romero said in 1973 that his pioneering zombie film was intended as “a statement about society,” and its semi-documentary style and black hero, murdered by white authorities, served to corroborate his claim. Yet, presenting Romero with a lifetime achievement award in 2009, Quentin Tarantino characterised his movies as consisting of “heart-stopping violence, explosive bloodshed, undead flesh-eaters and dismembered ghouls.” So does the political content really give life to the films, or is it ancillary to the thrills of gore and suspense? And does the meaning that a filmmaker attaches to his lurid tales ultimately matter?

And more:

Although it would be a folly to dismiss interpretative readings of the horror genre entirely, I am skeptical of the claims of critics and filmmakers alike that a zombie or torture movie is primarily to be approached as political allegory. That attitude seems to conform to an apologetic attitude to art, in which the work serves, at best, a medicinal function: the Hostel series is valid because it negotiates, even purges, society’s anxieties about Abu Ghraib, and so on. Yet Eli Roth is not Noam Chomsky. And who thinks about Nixon or Vietnam when confronted with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

I don’t know if the movies are always set to be political allegory, or if the interpretation comes after to defend the amount of horrific violence that often accompanies torture porn flicks. But I know this, and will defend the notion to the end: Pick any horror movie of any decade and you will get a pretty decent idea of what that time’s people, thought patterns, and headlines were like.

I have a few friends that disavow all things horror—people who avoid the genre at all costs. I myself avoid the torture porn flicks simply because I’d rather a deeper scare than one which simply attacks my sense of decency. But I believe that horror films are from the rough end of town, and they are emblematic of the life and times we are from..

Oh, and wrestling does, too.

August 23, 2014
‘MRS DOUBTFIRE’ BEING BLAMED

While media reports indicated that Robin Williams was near bankruptcy, another report surfaced today in the UK TELEGRAPH.. According to reporter Jose Ensor in an exclusive to the publication, a friend of Robin Williams, name not revealed, said that the now deceased star resented having to do another MRS DOUBTFIRE film..and even more, he was ‘dreading’ the film and it ‘brought out his demons.’

Ensor reports that this unnamed friend and neighbor said Williams was being paid $165,000 per episode of the quickly canceled CBS comedy THE CRAZY ONES.. He was paying bills with the cash.. but it wasn’t enough.

For several months, websites were abuzz with excitement (and mocking comments all the same) about the second MRS DOUBTFIRE film.. This Ensor report would suggest that, at least according the unnamed friend, Williams felt uncomfortable with the prospect of a return to the film over 20 years since its original release..

But now the death of Williams has potentially cursed the atmosphere of a second MRS DOUBTFIRE film. Williams was set to reprise his role.. …now.. Chris Columbus issued a statement 24 hours prior to this TELEGRAPH article expressing emotion over Williams’ suicide.. but even more, the article goes on to ponder the potential dark cloud cast over the film due to the sudden and dramatic tragic turn of events.. The TELEGRAPH article pinning blame on MRS DOUBTFIRE certainly will not do anything to help the furtherance of the movie’s development..

August 13, 2014
TURTLES overperforms at box office

Michael Bay is undoubtedly driving his former arch enemy Megan Fox to the bank this weekend.. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES captured a bigger audience than expected for its North American release..

The NINJAS are expected to rake in $64 mil in box office numbers this weekend. It will finish as the number one film in America.. that in spite of tremendously negative reviews and even more negative ratings on fan sites.. The movie seemingly has captured an audience, though: Megan Fox brought in the teenage wasteland while the NINJA TURTLES brought in the 30 somethings crying out for their youth–this movie isn’t the same NINJA TURTLES experience they grew up on, but all things in life must change..

The other films bringing in cash:

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY will finish second place..

INTO THE STORM opens at third–I actually thought this weather disaster movie may have done better, but perhaps its premise is too close to how wild our reality in life is…

THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY will be fourth.. LUCY is fifth–dropping a lot from previous weeks. As expected..

August 10, 2014
Get your toilet paper ready: The best horror comedy you probably will refuse to see

Let me begin this somewhat review of a film this way: IF you don’t have a large group of people to watch this movie, consider getting one.. Maybe you don’t have friends, so find some family. If you don’t have that, join a club.. maybe a bridge club.. or a golf team, or a bowling league. Either way, get a group of people..

..because if you watched ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD alone, you’d most likely quickly turn it off in revolt..
A large group is a must for a film of this quality and caliber.

Let’s start with the ‘story line’ .. This Japanese *and subtitled* horror comedy is not scary at all.. the 2011 film (released in Japan in 2012) may make you squeamish.. The movie featured a karate expert, Megumi, with four of her friends, go into the woods.. One friend is a nerdy male, another is a voluptuous model who wants to get thin by eating a parasite, another is drug addict driver, and finally, we have the drug addict’s airhead girlfriend. The stage is set..

The next thing that happens to our unsuspecting group, is they meat up with zombies covered in fecal matter, along with a doctor who performs horrendous experiments on the zombies with parasites..

The film begins, contains, and ends with some of the best cliches in horror .. and some of the most abundant and pure and simply disgusting flatulence jokes.. As a matter of fact, flatulence itself plays an important role in this film.. it can be used for good, or the power can be harnessed for evil.

But what would you expect from a movie called ZOMBIE ASS:TOILET OF THE DEAD..

A few warnings are in order before you take part in a viewing of this amazing NETFLIX streaming classic..

1) There will be nipples. It seemed to be the gag at one point, to have a nipple constantly on display in the film..

2) There is a somewhat uncomfortable scene of lust.. it’s awkward due to the placement. Right after our fun group gets doused by zombies’ excrement.. You’ll see.

3) Expect a beautiful big busted model to be in a position you’ve never seen one before: Squatting with gas flowing and a zombie laying in a large cesspool licking.

4) No class. None. This film enjoys mocking every sense of decency that the audience has.. Nothing is off limits, taste has been thrown at the window. And it’s amazingly funny..

And finally,

5) The best ending to a film you’ll ever see.. Just picture: Nuclear farts that can make you fly and beat the demon parasite that takes over your friend’s rear end.. A climax worth a second viewing..

The trick the move may be to not have anything to consume during it.. you don’t want to be caught with something in your mouth the first time you see someone’s derriere blow its lid.. Along with that, while your youngest of kids may want to see it, it’s best they steer clear until their formative years are over. Or until they sneak away to a friendly house with like-minded kith and kin and start their own rite of passage of watching awful movies while laughing in spite of themselves..

On a scale of 1 to 5, I cannot rate ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD without first a caveat: This rating is not because the movie is ‘good’ in a cinematic sense, but instead because it’s incredibly awful in the best way ever..

I give it a 5 out of 5 farts.
Strong, strong farts..
Nuclear.. cutting farts.

Try out ZOMBIE ASS for a few minutes. With a group of people. You’ll burst with laughter.. and your stomach be hurt by the end–forcing you to wonder if a parasitic entity will drill its way through your colon and into your reality.

August 10, 2014
Sharknado 2: The best worst movie of all time

While some mock it, and others decry the acting skills, I quite loved it. How can it not be loved.. I certainly will not review it, rate it, or recommend it.. unless you’ve got a well established group of friends who, perhaps a wee bit, are under the influence of some sort of legalized liquid mind changer. Otherwise, you’re forced to see the movie for what it is: A tremendous waste of time.

But that’s why I loved it.
Time was meant to be wasted, especially on a Sunday night when the other real new programming on is HOARDERS..

Tara Reid? Oh my.. but making up for her lack of skills to deliver a solid line even in a joke film: Al Roker and Matt Lauer driving sharp objects through CGI sharks. That cannot be missed..

So watch this at your own peril.. try to make it a group thing. If it’s not.. you’ll wonder why you did what you just did..

August 4, 2014