I heard about a study the other day concluding–YES, CONCLUDING the talking head on the news said–that people who drink their coffee black are more likely to be psychopaths..

I like my coffee with cream but on occasion have consumed it black.
I suppose those days, more than others, I was likely to have psychopathic tendencies that would not rear their heads when I drank with cream?

I found the “news” article about this scientific research.

Then I actually read the research paper itself. 

Get this, if you like radishes and celery, along with black coffee, than you are most likely a psychopath! 

From the abstract:

Two US American community samples (total N = 953; mean age = 35.65
35 years; 48% females) self-reported their taste preferences using two complementary preference
36 measures and answered a number of personality questionnaires assessing Machiavellianism,
37 psychopathy, narcissism, everyday sadism, trait aggression, and the Big Five factors of
38 personality.

The study goes on 45 more pages.

And lots of people are suddenly FREAKED, especially those who either drink their coffee black or are dating or married to someone who does. What secrets.. what scary plot twists await us..

Beca Grim wrote this in BUSTLE in August:

As you’ve probably guessed by now, I clearly drink only black coffee myself, as I believe all quality humans should. And if you think that’s a bit of a strong statement, consider this: There are a number of proven benefits to taking your coffee black — the way the gods intended it to be.

She goes on to say that people who drink their coffee black are more efficient at their time, in better health, thrifty, have wisdom, and don’t take part in useless social rituals. 

Is Beca Grim a psychopath?
Am I one 50% of the time when I grind my beans black?
Are you?

Either this study one of the dumbest ever *I think* or I am in denial and .. well you may be too.

Be scared.
Once you go black, a psychopath will never go back.

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