Horror Report

Day: January 31, 2016

  • The next six months of horror: All you need is Wan

    The next six months of horror: All you need is Wan

    kidsmovies

    There are a few hopeful movies to redeem horror in 2016–2015’s cauldron of BABADOOK and IT FOLLOWS were all stars. Will anything make waves in this calendar year worth while?

    A brief look at what is coming for your horror viewing delight:

     


    In theaters now: THE BOY.
    Every time I hear ‘THE BOY’ I recall one of my favorite movies, Larry the Health Inspector, when he kept calling his female co-inspector ‘the boy’ by mistake.  But there is trouble with this boy.. It’s getting awful, horrid, terrible reviews. And not just from reviewers who hate horror, but people who love it..  The BOY is about is a young American woman who takes a job as a nanny in a remote English village, only to discover that the family’s 8-year-old is a life-sized doll that the parents care for just like a real boy, as a way to cope with the death of their actual son 20 years prior. You can imagine the rest.
    The scary part is it’s only getting a 19% rating on ROTTEN TOMATOES. Reviews in most major publications have been even worse than negative..

     


    THE WITCH.
    This actually looks promising. It is released in theaters February 19 2916.. Simple premise: it’s about a family in the 1630s beset by the darkness of witchcraft and black magic.  It has received a ton of praise from film festivals who saw it.. from fans who are boasting about it.. The trailers look dark and foreboding. I think this may be a movie worth seeing.

     


    CLOVERFELD LANE
    Mixed reviews on this one. Most people who watched it already saw it say that it has nothing to do with the original CLOVERFIELD. Maybe they are banking on enough initial viewers not knowing that, hoping to capitalize off of a pretty good movie from a few years back.

     


    THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR March 11 2016
    The Other Side of the Door sees her playing a grieving mother who will do anything to say goodbye to her dead son one last time.. This is not getting a wide release, which maybe is too bad. The movie looks good. Watch for it at a REDBOX near you.. 

     


    AMITYVILLE: THE AWAKENING.
    Yes.. more AMITYVILLE horror coming April 1 2016. And despite the April Fool’s release, this is really happening. Sadly.
    I think the entire AMITYVILLE genre has gone down hill, terribly. The original was fine, though the footing on it being inspired by ‘true events’ is yet being debated. I think this newest incarnation from Franck Khalfoun from Blumhouse Pictures probably, more than anything else, will be a waste of time.. Watch the OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR on video instead.

     


    FLIGHT 7500
    Planes scare me… Especially this movie’s premise: Flight 7500 departs Los Angeles International Airport bound for Tokyo. As the overnight flight makes its way over the Pacific Ocean during its ten-hour course, the passengers encounter what appears to be a supernatural force in the cabin.. It’s only going to be a direct to video release.. but that’s fine. I think it’s worth it–though some are asking if the movie’s release is evening happening. If it does it’s set for April 5, 2016.

     


    THE CONJURING 2
    It’s happening again. This June 10th movie is a follow up to the 2013 movie of the same name. This time: paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) travel to 1977 England to help single mom Peggy Hodgson and her four children, particularly daughter Janet (Madison Wolfe).. James Wan is back for it. Recent trailers for the movie attached to other movies look inspired. Time will tell..  This comes out June 10 2016.

     


    LIGHTS OUT
    Fine, this is beyond 6 months.. And yes PURGE 3 and GHOSTBUSTERS get releases before it. But I am just writing about this July 22 2016 movie now because of how amazed I am that it was filmed and how excited I am that it’s coming out. This may be, in my opinion, the best horror movie of the year if it is done well. David F. Sandberg directs.. Eric A. Heisserer writes. Gabriel Bateman stars. The story centers on a supernatural entity attacking a family, with one of the members required to step up to protect them from a threat that can be seen only when the lights go out. And yes it is also based on the 2013 short film of the same name. Inspiring further news: James Wan is producing. You can’s Wan more than that.
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  • POLITICS ALERT: GET READY

    POLITICS ALERT: GET READY

    The cold corn fields if Iowa are going to be lit up tomorrow with the fire of presidential zeal.. it’s here: The caucusing.

    cauc

    While the HORROR REPORT steers normally clear of political footballs or policy debate, we still do pay attention and like to point out some of the stranger aspects of the news cycle.. I am also, personally, a bit of a political junkie. However, I have sense: Most if not all of it is a useless gamble on the future, with players on a stage who normally act out a role. This year’s acting is spectacular, though.. Ratings high. And they will edge higher. Tomorrow night’s Caucus coverage will be a victory for the networks..

    …and some nail biting.
    This report from the NEW YORK TIMES seems to be capture the moment in time we are living in:

    But as the Iowa caucuses loom on Monday — the first votes after 1,500 candidate rallies, 60,000 TV ads and a nail-biting tightening of the polls here — the state’s voters are poised to play their most significant role ever in both parties’ nominating contests. And their embrace of candidates on the ideological fringes has amplified a national grass-roots rebellion against establishment politicians.

    Both Democrats and Republicans have seen their presumptive nominees of a year ago — deeply experienced, proven political leaders — brushed aside by Iowans in favor of idol-smashing outsiders.

    It’s anti-establishment..

    There has been some wild times. With more to go.


    Just this weekend.. Ted Cruz may have done the creepiest and worst things in Iowa politics: He called people out BY NAME for not voting, and sent it to a flier to people’s neighbors! NOT THE ONION. Real.

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    Bush speaks at the Iowa Caucus Presidential Candidate Briefing at Nationwide Insurance in Des Moines, Iowa

    There is hardly any excitement for Hillary.. nothing for JEB, despite his exclamation point. Rand Paul flopped as much as his hair.. the bigger they are the harder they fall, as exemplified by Christie… who emerges? An old messy haired socialist who flaunts populist ideals and an orange billionaire who flaunts his wealth. The choice is stark. It’s amazing.. it’s a ratings bonanza. It’s also going to be a wild year.

    Even Bubba is looking old as of late.. The times are getting to people.

    Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has made a strong push to appeal to evangelical voters in Iowa, who comprised 57 percent of caucus voters in 2012 and are expected to play a huge role in determining the outcome of the poll on February 1

    Photos of the day - January 30, 2016

    Predictions for tomorrow: Bernie wins Iowa, but not by much. On the elephant’s side; Trump wins by a sound margin, Cruz and Rubio fight for second. Rubio makes a jump and Cruz’s bruisin begins.

    That’s the most pre-game you’ll get from me.

    I hope you’re mentally preparing yourself for the onslaught of political advertising yet to come.