A New Years dissolution

The final few days of shopping are here..
The last chances to wrap gifts..

Tis the season for small annoyances, like bad traffic or office Christmas parties where someone you never expected would get a bit too tipsy, or offensive. I have often thought that often co-workers (sometimes family, too), aren’t people you pick. They aren’t friends. They are necessary. You may like some.. but chances are, if you’re at a party of 50, you’ll really want to associate with just four or five.

Nonetheless, at a gathering just days ago of people, I noted several conversations were about attempts to get better health in the new year, be happier, eat right, and cut down on the luxuries and lushness of life. All this being said while food was in one hand and alcohol in the other..

I am perplexed yearly by this notion that December 31 into January 1 will suddenly equal a burst of health, weight loss, and better moods. By the second week of January, when the bills start coming in and researchers say “Blue Monday” hits, we are already ditching the yearly get rich or well quick schemes, and replacing them with the bad habits all over again.

But maybe that is because the actual attempts are wrong to begin with.

The end of a year and the beginning of a new one is sort of the same as how parts of the earth feel this time of year, as well. The cyclical nature of seasons and time—we are one with the planet and quite possibly one with the feelings of the season. Sorry to go pagan, but maybe even the natural phases of the moon and sun, along with the Solstices, deserve a party! Minus the human sacrifices of ancient Yule time.

My point is, trying to change habits at this time of year is fine. It’s the end of a year. Again. Another 12 months, 525,600 minutes behind us, and a whole new 12 months of anarchy on the way..

But what habits are you trying to break? And why..?

“I want to be healthier.”
Fine and cool. It is not bad to be healthy.. But think before you drink. I love the idea that “wine may be good for my heart.” I’m no doctor, but I know the dangers of alcohol when used in excess. And while the skin of grapes could have benefits, so does dark chocolate. Oh, and skin of grapes—meaning you can actually eat grapes as opposed to drinking fermented versions of the product..

“I want to lose weight.”
So quick diets and fad trends are imposed on your body. You don’t react as you’d expect in two weeks, and you give it. Weight loss takes time. It took a while to gain it, you surely won’t lose it faster. So if you’re serious about losing weight, just realize you may get a quick hit of ten pounds if you’re really overweight, then it will become stagnant. If you’re closer to normal, you may lose very weight at all but could gain muscle if done the right way…and muscle has weight, so your scale could stay the same.

“I want a new job.”

Don’t we all sometimes? Before you get on a new job bandwagon, make a “why I hate my job list.” Then make a “why I have it okay at my job list.” And be honest, include everything, like 401K or pension, free parking, health insurance. See which list has more. Afterwards critically think about what you put. If hatred of your co-workers made the “Why I hate my job list,” go back and read some Yoda. Fear equal hate. Hate equals war.
Be brave and be honest. Trying to get a better job is not a bad thing. But never do something simply based off of hate. You’ll make the wrong decision every time.

My advice for this time of year.. Use the force. It’s all around you. Close your eyes…wait…I saw STAR WARS too many times.
or did I?
The ‘force’ may not only be strong for the Jedi, but it could be real..
You could be a part of something far greater than yourself. A universe that goes on forever and somehow is connected in strange ways by invisible math and physics. It’s a great time to be alive, with advanced discoveries that are beautiful and making life better. Yes there is loathsome fear and terror, as we talked about on here several times over the past few weeks, but don’t give into it. Do not let fear guide you. Embrace fear.

A few years ago when I had to give a public speech to a group of 700 people, I did something remarkable. It changed me forever. Up until that point I Was scared to death of public speaking. It’s when I realized that my entire life was made up of public speaking that the fear started to dwindle. I was a waiter since 16. I addressed crowds of 8 to 50 people on a regular basis, even made an open mic speech to a wedding party of 200 naming dessert choices. So public speaking was the simple part.. the hard part was figuring out that if you just do it and stop thinking so much, you’ll be fine. I embraced the fear and actually let it consume me for a moment, I purposely even tried making myself more fearful of the event. At that point, it left me.
Was I still a bit nervous? Yes. Was I filled with trembling fear anymore? Not even close..

Fear about the future is a strange thing, after all.
Consider this: The future is not real, it did not happen, and there is no proof of what is coming. The only thing real is now. Even the past may not be real anymore since it stopped existing. The second of time you stand in, however, is undeniable.
So fearing the future is insane. You’re fearing something that did not occur, that is not here, and that is not year coming to fruition.
Stop fearing.

And on that note, the real new years’ resolution you should strictly maintain:
Be you. Stop hating. Your hating is equaling worse things. It’s creating a worse world. It’s making things bleak. It’s ruining children’s futures. It’s stopping progress. And it’s forcing you to be cemented in ideologies that are failed and ones that should be long gone.

Believe me, I have never been accused of being an optimist.
But I equally have never defined myself as a pessimist. I am a realistic, sometimes nervous and paranoid, conspiracy-theory loving (not always believing) observer of society. From my own personal circle of friends and family to the world as a whole, I sit back and often watch.

My resolution: in 2016 I plan on watching less and doing more..
The next time a fight breaks out at a mall, and I know who is at fault, I will make sure I speak up.
Fear is not an option.
In 2016, neither is silence.



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