Don’t you wish your vaccine was hot like mine

Earlier we reported on how it looks like the Johnson & Johnson vaccine was virtually crippled by the pause..

Everything is political. Even .. yes.. even vaccines.

Apparently you can gleam a lot into the personal political choices of someone by their vaccine they get? Or at least this is what ‘pop culture’ is telling us. So it has got taaaa bee true, right!?

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The latest vaccine rage online apparently consists of which vaccine is hottest. Prettiest. The most alluring and gratifying …

And the winner is Pfizer!

You see this shot get hot
Every antibody comes through..
When I step up in the spot (are you ready?)
Make the vaccine sizzle like a summertime cookout
Prowl for the best shot, yes I’m on the lookout (let’s dance)
Slow banging shorty like a dancer with the RONA
Smell good, pretty skin, so gangsta with it (oh, baby)
No tricks only diamonds under my sleeve
Gimme the number, but give me the T cells before you leave…

RNA is king

The Atlantic published something we quite honestly were not aware of.. a certain rage of vaccine envy is taking place on the socials. Apparently, as summarized by author Kaitlyn Tiffany, the internet as a whole has decided that Pfizer is the best of all! The hottest for the summer sex season!

From the report:

 At the moment, the internet is full of jokes about all the things you still can’t do after you’ve gotten vaccinated—like taking my hand and dragging me headfirst, which is part of a Taylor Swift song from 2008; removing the green ribbon from around your neck, a reference to a disturbing children’s story in which a woman named Jenny does that and then her head falls off; or emerging “from the soil after 17 years to shed your outer cuticular layer & scream into the ether in unison,” which is a subtweet of cicadas. I’m laughing, but what are we talking about? Weirder still, one vaccine in particular—from Pfizer—has somehow become the cool vaccine, as well as the vaccine for the rich and stylish. Slate’s Heather Schwedel recently discussed the “Pfizer superiority complex” at length. As one source told her: “One of my cousins got Moderna, and I was like, ‘That’s OK. We need a strong middle class.’” On Twitter, the vaccinated are changing their usernames to reflect their new personal identities: There are Pfizer Princesses and Pfizer Floozies and Pfizer Pfairies and at least one Portrait of a Lady on Pfizer. “Pfizer is what was available when I signed up,” Jagger Blaec, a 33-year-old podcast host told me, “but it’s no coincidence every baddie I know has Pfizer and not Moderna.” Isn’t it a coincidence, though?

The TikTok culture has solidified the notion that only hot people get Pfizer.. or that Pfizer makes you hot.

This is not science of course.. but we don’t care about facts in 2021. The last decade has proven that facts are just opinions in your own windmills of your mind.

Don’t cha wish your vaccine was hot like me?
Don’t cha wish your vaccine was an RNA freak like me?
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha wish your vaccine was raw like me?
Don’t cha wish your vaccine
was fun like me?
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha?

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The ATLANTIC article continues:

Pfizer elitism seems to have originated on TikTok, where the vaccine hierarchy has been most concretely outlined. I wondered if it might have something to do with the particulars of that platform, so I reached out to Shauna Pomerantz, a TikTok scholar and an associate professor at Brock University, in Ontario. She suggested a much simpler explanation: The idea of a rich-hot-bougie-elite-status vaccine comes out of American culture, she said, in which everything is extremely competitive and organized around “winners and losers rather than support and kindness.” Yikes.

This world sure is a mad, mad world.

Move over classism.

Welcome to vaccism.

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