Tag: personal

Things that really scare parents.. not movies.. not monsters.. but fevers. And this week we had our share

MY NIGHTMARE.

It began a week ago. I got sick—selfishness took over and I requested leave time from my fatherly duties. My wife luckily allowed me to get a full day of sleep. Then the next day when my son, Ayden, went to school and her to work, I stayed home. And slept again.. Whatever this bug was took the life out of me..

My son was the next in the house to get it. Over the past 72 hours, we have gone through a series of traumas related to it.

Sickness is normal, and common. Fevers happen. But Ayden’s fever spiked several times to 105. At one point he was going up. We made the typical frantic night time calls to nurses on duty. We did the Motrin/Tylenol routine—which worked actually when we needed it to. We avoided the cold water however, as the body temperature dives quickly the fever spikes higher and just as bad immediately after the submerged body leaves the cold water.

It was the OTHER events that caused serious concerns. And a trip to the ER as a precaution.

WORLDS COLLIDING.

At this website, you’ll find a strange variety of paranormal and strange news.. mixed in some personal ramblings and a political opinion here and there. They all say blogs are dead. I suppose I’m one of the walking dead since I’m still writing. Nonetheless, I pride myself on the content provided. I hope you, the reader agrees. I digress..

For as long as I have been here I have been writing about sleep paralysis. When THE NIGHTMARE was released I praised it highly. I wrote about the subject matter a few more times.

This week, when my 5-year-old Ayden was sick, there were scenes seemingly torn from the pages of the playbook of THE NIGHTMARE.

Ayden had three (bad things come in threes, right?) extremely awful and terrifying sleep issues. My wife and I initially thought it was a reaction to medicine. The doctors seem to think it was due to the stress on the body and the abnormally high fever for his age that this viral infection caused (it was not the flu or anything else they could pinpoint) ..

During all three separate times, Ayden’s face locked in a fear position. His mouth widely opened as did his eyes. He was sleeping next to me during two of the occasions. Oddly I woke up at the same time he did. I looked at him thinking he was awake, but he could not move. His eyes were rapidly looking around the room, his legs twitching, and his fingers somewhat moving. He was stuck. While I feared a fever related seizure could have been occurring, my wife and I dismissed it as there were no signs of it. We made him sit up. And even though he caused his movement, he stayed stuck in a dream.

The dreams or whatever world he was glued within caused him to say some wild statements. Such as “Daddy stop moving the TV.” Or “I am getting too small!” These statements may sound ludicrous and humorous to a non parent, but picture your innocent child screaming these things out in shear panic and fear, unable to move his body and even break from the nightmare he was within.

The third time it happened, we were already prepared for a doctor visit but we wanted him to nap beforehand. The nap ended with the worst of the sleep issues of the week. He could not break from the nightmare. He screamed at his mom and me: “I’m mad!” while he tried to weep but could not even find the strength to cry. We quickly dressed him and got him to see someone. All the while during a 20 minute drive, he stared at me from his car seat in some form of rage. A look I never saw before—and one that was not him. I don’t think it was. I think for the duration of that drive he was still stuck in a nightmare….

RELIEF

I don’t “knock on wood” for luck. But as I write this I am knocking on wood just in case the old adage has any merit. Ayden’s fever has gone down as I write this. He slept the night with only one moment of waking up to use the bathroom. And he seems better. He seems to be coming back to this world again.

I hope it continues. If you, reading this, have sick kids, we as parents all know the normal drills and how fearful fevers can get. Yes they are a sign of the immune system reacting as normal. However, that system response can certainly freak you at at 3am, the witching hour, when a temperature skyrockets to 106.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

It’s the modern age. One of the first things I did yesterday after the situation began to calm a bit, was go to Facebook and ask friends if they have experienced any of these issues. Not sleep paralysis of the adult kind, but the toddler version. I got an overwhelming response with a number of people relating frightening sickness related terrors that their children experienced. One person I know told me her son gets it on a regular basis. My other brother reminded me that my nephew got it severely when he was a child. At one point about 15 years ago, my nephew got it so bad during a fever that he was stuck in a dream for an hour screaming wildly and having trouble breathing until my sister showed up—he was requesting my sister’s presence during his terror.

I am not alone. If it is happening to you, you are not alone. I also found a number of forums of people naming their experiences. Heck, I even found people posting video of their children experiencing it on Youtube—something that seems dreadfully tacky though exceptionally accepted in the modern age.

FINAL MESSAGE

During the quiet moments of desperation, your body forgets to do certain things and also remembers to do others. For example, between my being sick and my sick being sick, I lost an incredible 10 pounds this week . While I wanted to lose weight, it wasn’t the way I envisioned. Though now in an ironic twist, as I woke up this morning, I am at the desired weight that My Fitness Pal told me I’d safely be at by May. Nonetheless, while I forgot to eat, I also remembered to pray. Pray to whoever listens.. family? Friends? Grandparents? Mother in law? God himself. I hit them ‘all’ up for some help.

The day was a mighty beautiful day yesterday. Too beautiful to spend a day in the ER though we were there. I took a brief talk to the cafeteria and got to a window, and snapped a photo of the scene.

Later in the night, a voice told me to go back and look at the photo again. So I did. And as I inspected it I saw an orb in the bottom center.

A point to mention: I rarely believe in orbs. I think they are dust, glare, or just passing moments of errors on the camera phone. However, in this situation, I will just think of that orb as a little hello from the series of prayers I let loose at the window as I was staring at the early spring sun.

Thanks for reading.

Sleep well.

March 12, 2016
Today is a big day. My wife is 36. My son is 5. Birthdays galore…..

Today is a big day.

My wife is 36. My son is 5.
Birthdays galore.. and moments in time that we need to stop and reflect.

Tara may not want picture herself at the age she is–though I remind her she can now run for president. Heck if Trump can anyone can.

As for Ayden, 5 is a big deal.

I still remember his first birthday.. And third.. and now fifth–we didn’t skip the 2nd and 4th but we just opted not to have parties for them.

So later today as a dozen kids roll around a giant play time location with a ball pip and giant sliding board, it will feel strange and real.

Later this year: Kindergarten.

Until then let’s hold on to 16 as long as we can. The changes coming around real soon will make us women and men.

I love you Tara.
I love you Ayden.

February 20, 2016
THE BILE OF THE LAST DAY OF THE YEAR

My son got sick this morning, right before his final day of day care for the year..

As I write this, he’s watching Netflix on the couch and relaxing. I am home from work and blogging in between worried looks each time he makes a move, just in case I have to rush back to couchside to ensure the garbage can is secure while his body’s natural state does its deed to rid itself of whatever virus is running its course.

It somehow seems fitting. Ending the year with a few projectile dispatches.

Think about it..
New years is about cleaning out the mind, body, and soul. While a four and a half year old may not get the ramifications and meaning of calendar changes or balls dropping in Times Square, it’s almost like his little body decided to take part in a ritualistic cleanse..

Yes, maybe I am being over dramatic.
But my over-drama has improved since my son was born.
I fondly–sarcasm there–recall the very first time my son had a flu. He was about 2, and the vomit started occurring around 3am. And a lot of it.. in the midst of the cleaning, it almost immediately began happening to me. It was gruesome, actually. A mixture of awfulness. My wife got sick, too.. but not to the extent of dad and son. The air was so bad we wanted to just move out.

Each time he got sick since, I was calmer each time.
That calmness may not last forever, but the years of training my mind to accept sickness as a part of life, and a part of the body’s actual defense mechanism to heal, has culminated with amazing senses.
Like this….
This morning when my son sat up, he looked funny. I was sitting next to him and saw something in his expression.. I knew. I said, “You okay?” A nod ‘yes’ occurred.. I didn’t believe it. I immediately held up the garbage can and, like an amazing 1990s Michael Jordan basketball shot, he projected refuse into the can. 3 points!
Live action dad hero.
Maybe the one time only in life that will happen.. but moms and dads get to be keenly aware of what each expression on their child’s face means.
I knew this morning what the worried look meant. “It” was coming..

My wife and I have dinner plans tonight with friends for new years eve. That may be called off now due to unforeseen bodily circumstances. The first mission of the day is to effectively utilize Febreeze and Lysol where it needs it most. Already, every door handle was disinfected. Waiting on the current room until the dust settles..
The Twilight Zone marathon is on, too.
Not sure if my son will give a break from Netflix, or fall asleep for a bit, in time for me to tune in to a few amazing Twilight Zones on SYFY, but that’s life.
Life happens when you least expect it.

When you have dinner plans..
When the calendar changes..

So in the spirit of my son at this moment: Cleanse yourself of the trials, tribulations, and pains of 2015. Sixteen is a brand new chance to get something right that has been going wrong for some time. Only YOU know what is wrong. Or your body. And if it’s internal, get ready with a garbage can and some Gatorade.

May your travels be safe and your new years eve be the last day you to worry about the things you worried about in 2015.

December 31, 2015
THE NOSTALGIC IMAGE OF CHRISTMASES LONG LONG AGO

This is my original artwork.. it’s my nostalgic Christmas postcard to you.

The scene I drew in this picture, several years ago actually, is gone now. It is of the former St. Ignatius Church in Centralia, PA, a place I attended Christmas midnight mass for several years when my life began. The road signs are indicating that a highway was closed, most likely because of the Christmas blanket of snow causing mine fire fumes to overtake the highway.. The footsteps? Could be mine walking around .. could be my father, as he was the caretaker of the property for 20 years..

But it’s all gone now.
So often, we are greeted yearly with cards of this nature–places that are now gone or changed for good.

My Christmas memories hold this scene in high esteem.
They always will.
Times were simpler then–even though my hometown was being bulldozed over and people were being forced out. Still simple.
A quiet blanket of snow..
This year, 2015, it’s about 60 or so degrees outside of my house.
This scene is a memory.
As is the town and all buildings that were in it.

December 24, 2015
A New Years dissolution


The final few days of shopping are here..
The last chances to wrap gifts..

Tis the season for small annoyances, like bad traffic or office Christmas parties where someone you never expected would get a bit too tipsy, or offensive. I have often thought that often co-workers (sometimes family, too), aren’t people you pick. They aren’t friends. They are necessary. You may like some.. but chances are, if you’re at a party of 50, you’ll really want to associate with just four or five.

Nonetheless, at a gathering just days ago of people, I noted several conversations were about attempts to get better health in the new year, be happier, eat right, and cut down on the luxuries and lushness of life. All this being said while food was in one hand and alcohol in the other..

I am perplexed yearly by this notion that December 31 into January 1 will suddenly equal a burst of health, weight loss, and better moods. By the second week of January, when the bills start coming in and researchers say “Blue Monday” hits, we are already ditching the yearly get rich or well quick schemes, and replacing them with the bad habits all over again.

But maybe that is because the actual attempts are wrong to begin with.

The end of a year and the beginning of a new one is sort of the same as how parts of the earth feel this time of year, as well. The cyclical nature of seasons and time—we are one with the planet and quite possibly one with the feelings of the season. Sorry to go pagan, but maybe even the natural phases of the moon and sun, along with the Solstices, deserve a party! Minus the human sacrifices of ancient Yule time.

My point is, trying to change habits at this time of year is fine. It’s the end of a year. Again. Another 12 months, 525,600 minutes behind us, and a whole new 12 months of anarchy on the way..

But what habits are you trying to break? And why..?


“I want to be healthier.”
Fine and cool. It is not bad to be healthy.. But think before you drink. I love the idea that “wine may be good for my heart.” I’m no doctor, but I know the dangers of alcohol when used in excess. And while the skin of grapes could have benefits, so does dark chocolate. Oh, and skin of grapes—meaning you can actually eat grapes as opposed to drinking fermented versions of the product..


“I want to lose weight.”
So quick diets and fad trends are imposed on your body. You don’t react as you’d expect in two weeks, and you give it. Weight loss takes time. It took a while to gain it, you surely won’t lose it faster. So if you’re serious about losing weight, just realize you may get a quick hit of ten pounds if you’re really overweight, then it will become stagnant. If you’re closer to normal, you may lose very weight at all but could gain muscle if done the right way…and muscle has weight, so your scale could stay the same.


“I want a new job.”

Don’t we all sometimes? Before you get on a new job bandwagon, make a “why I hate my job list.” Then make a “why I have it okay at my job list.” And be honest, include everything, like 401K or pension, free parking, health insurance. See which list has more. Afterwards critically think about what you put. If hatred of your co-workers made the “Why I hate my job list,” go back and read some Yoda. Fear equal hate. Hate equals war.
Be brave and be honest. Trying to get a better job is not a bad thing. But never do something simply based off of hate. You’ll make the wrong decision every time.


My advice for this time of year.. Use the force. It’s all around you. Close your eyes…wait…I saw STAR WARS too many times.
or did I?
The ‘force’ may not only be strong for the Jedi, but it could be real..
You could be a part of something far greater than yourself. A universe that goes on forever and somehow is connected in strange ways by invisible math and physics. It’s a great time to be alive, with advanced discoveries that are beautiful and making life better. Yes there is loathsome fear and terror, as we talked about on here several times over the past few weeks, but don’t give into it. Do not let fear guide you. Embrace fear.

A few years ago when I had to give a public speech to a group of 700 people, I did something remarkable. It changed me forever. Up until that point I Was scared to death of public speaking. It’s when I realized that my entire life was made up of public speaking that the fear started to dwindle. I was a waiter since 16. I addressed crowds of 8 to 50 people on a regular basis, even made an open mic speech to a wedding party of 200 naming dessert choices. So public speaking was the simple part.. the hard part was figuring out that if you just do it and stop thinking so much, you’ll be fine. I embraced the fear and actually let it consume me for a moment, I purposely even tried making myself more fearful of the event. At that point, it left me.
Was I still a bit nervous? Yes. Was I filled with trembling fear anymore? Not even close..

Fear about the future is a strange thing, after all.
Consider this: The future is not real, it did not happen, and there is no proof of what is coming. The only thing real is now. Even the past may not be real anymore since it stopped existing. The second of time you stand in, however, is undeniable.
So fearing the future is insane. You’re fearing something that did not occur, that is not here, and that is not year coming to fruition.
Stop fearing.

And on that note, the real new years’ resolution you should strictly maintain:
Be you. Stop hating. Your hating is equaling worse things. It’s creating a worse world. It’s making things bleak. It’s ruining children’s futures. It’s stopping progress. And it’s forcing you to be cemented in ideologies that are failed and ones that should be long gone.

Believe me, I have never been accused of being an optimist.
But I equally have never defined myself as a pessimist. I am a realistic, sometimes nervous and paranoid, conspiracy-theory loving (not always believing) observer of society. From my own personal circle of friends and family to the world as a whole, I sit back and often watch.

My resolution: in 2016 I plan on watching less and doing more..
The next time a fight breaks out at a mall, and I know who is at fault, I will make sure I speak up.
Fear is not an option.
In 2016, neither is silence.



December 23, 2015
Are you trapped? Are you someone’s dinner?

Are you trapped? Are you someone’s dinner?

December 16, 2015
The personal cell..

Sometimes in life when you build your own jail cell, the beautiful view of the outside world will be haunting. Make today be a day you plan your breakout.

November 12, 2015
CENTRALIA THE DRAMA

Before proceeding.

I AM FROM CENTRALIA, PA. I was one of ‘those’ folks.. my parents moved away as we were in one of the hardest hit part of town due to the mine fire.. But the water is clean. The smoke has cleared.. there are lots of tourists desperate for a view of fire that they will never see.. and graffiti highway is amazing. Now on to the news..

For better or worse, CENRTALIA is going to get some major TEE VEE time coming up very soon.

According to DEADLINE, NBC just won the rights to produce ‘CENTRALIA,’ a project being called a ‘dark’ drama..

MORE FROM THE DEADLINE REPORT that broke today:

In a competitive situation with multiple bidders, Centralia , a genre drama from Star-Crossed creator/executive producer Meredith Averill and Amblin TV , has landed at NBC with a major penalty and has been laid off at Universal TV.

MORE//

Written by Averill, Centralia is a dark character-driven genre soap based on a real town in central Pennsylvania where an underground mine fire has been burning for over 50 years. The remaining few residents of this ghost town are determined to preserve their homes but remain unaware of the evil that is slowly making its way to the surface. Averill is executive producing with Amblin TV’s Darryl Frank and Justin Falvey

And finally..

Averill has first-hand knowledge of the Centralia story as she grew up in the nearby town of Pottsville, PA. She is coming off an overall deal at CBS TV Studios where, in addition to creating and executive producing alien-themed love story Star-Crossed for the CW, she also worked as co-executive producer on the studio’s CW dramedy Jane The Virgin and producer on CBS’ The Good Wife. She is repped by WME.

I have very, very mixed feelings about this project.. I applaud the idea. It is natural–a ghost town, especially one with the history that Centralia has, is an amazing story. But it is also complex.. I would expect Averill to create a story with respect and beauty–something Centralia had and still does.. But it’s also a situation ripe for attention, entertainment, and profit.

This upcoming project is both exciting and frightening.

After all.. this is my hometown, by default. I know the real story of it. It’s not filled with ‘ghosts’ but instead wonderful memories of times long ago. And I hope that is brought forward in the setting of the series.

Centralia is worth attention.
In the best ways possible.

October 17, 2015
CENTRALIA the drama

Before proceeding.

I AM FROM CENTRALIA, PA. I was one of ‘those’ folks.. my parents moved away as we were in one of the hardest hit part of town due to the mine fire.. But the water is clean. The smoke has cleared.. there are lots of tourists desperate for a view of fire that they will never see.. and graffiti highway is amazing. Now on to the news..

For better or worse, CENRTALIA is going to get some major TEE VEE time coming up very soon.

According to DEADLINE, NBC just won the rights to produce ‘CENTRALIA,’ a project being called a ‘dark’ drama..

MORE FROM THE DEADLINE REPORT that broke today:

In a competitive situation with multiple bidders, Centralia , a genre drama from Star-Crossed creator/executive producer Meredith Averill and Amblin TV , has landed at NBC with a major penalty and has been laid off at Universal TV.

MORE//

Written by Averill, Centralia is a dark character-driven genre soap based on a real town in central Pennsylvania where an underground mine fire has been burning for over 50 years. The remaining few residents of this ghost town are determined to preserve their homes but remain unaware of the evil that is slowly making its way to the surface. Averill is executive producing with Amblin TV’s Darryl Frank and Justin Falvey

And finally..

Averill has first-hand knowledge of the Centralia story as she grew up in the nearby town of Pottsville, PA. She is coming off an overall deal at CBS TV Studios where, in addition to creating and executive producing alien-themed love story Star-Crossed for the CW, she also worked as co-executive producer on the studio’s CW dramedy Jane The Virgin and producer on CBS’ The Good Wife. She is repped by WME.

I have very, very mixed feelings about this project.. I applaud the idea. It is natural–a ghost town, especially one with the history that Centralia has, is an amazing story. But it is also complex.. I would expect Averill to create a story with respect and beauty–something Centralia had and still does.. But it’s also a situation ripe for attention, entertainment, and profit.

This upcoming project is both exciting and frightening.

After all.. this is my hometown, by default. I know the real story of it. It’s not filled with ‘ghosts’ but instead wonderful memories of times long ago. And I hope that is brought forward in the setting of the series.

Centralia is worth attention.
In the best ways possible.

October 17, 2015
THE NIGHTMARE worth a watch .. maybe not before bed

In April of this year the HORROR REPORT profiled the NIGHTMARE, a documentary film from Rodney Ascher (from ROOM 237).. It’s a series of stories told by people who Ascher collected to tell their tales of sleep paralysis. Along with the verbiage, horrific images of what they saw–documentary style.. The creation is amazing. It’s a documentary but can easily as one of the best horror movies of the…

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October 17, 2015