The Phantom (pooper) strikes at night

Ohio has a problem. This man you see here, is the phantom pooper.. the night owl defectator.. the silent shitter..

You pick your own term. Either way, he’s going around various parts of the city of Akron, Ohio. It’s been going on for years, the suspicion now is that the Bowel Movement Bandit has defecated on over 19 cars. 

The poopetrator even hit one woman’s car 7 times..

He’s been getting busy with his business. But now cops want him to cut the crap.

This story is just asking for bad puns, and regardless of the source, people are making them. But just imagine waking up one day to find a large load on the cook of your car.. The horror of that scene would be unimaginable..

Either way, with his image now blasting across the internet–the image of him in action–there may be ‘movement’ on the case.. For the sake of Akron, we certainly hope so.